I know I’ve been gone for a bit, but, well… life. Lots and lots has happened in 9 months (not THAT!) and I’m proud to say we’re officially engaged and getting married in a small, family and close friends ceremony in May.
There’s also been a good bit of co-parenting drama, and my next post will relate an overview of it. I’m currently of the opinion that co-parenting with a narcissist is pretty much impossible, because they will never get their heads out of their own asses long enough to see how others perceive their actions.
But before that, a little Zoo news: we now bring the canine count to three, and the feline count to three. We had a beautiful orange boy who had a tragic accident and passed, but we have his sister now and another orange tabby who, if not the same, is still a great kitty. They all have their own personalities, but the fun thing about that is that each kid has a corresponding dog and cat matchup. Too.much.fun.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I’m enjoying some Jameson after my incredibly irritating week and my first preteen sleepover. God help us all.
Spring Break. Two words that strike fear in the hearts of parents around the world and which are almost as sweet as Christmas break to the teacher. I happen to be both parent and teacher, and Spring Break ’16 brought both excitement and apprehension. We had plans to attempt a blended family trip– first, to see my daughter’s volleyball tournament and then on to our friends’ house for a few days of kid-centered fun.
The tourney was in Nashville on the first weekend of break; we’d originally planned on heading up there that morning, but found out very last minute that she actually played first thing in the morning. Scramble, scramble to get everything together and find a hotel for the extra night.
I should note here that I haven’t been on a vacation with little people in QUITE some time. Although my parents, sisters and their families live down in Florida and I do visit, I haven’t even been on a trip with those small people — as in, ever. I’m a bit out of practice, which I learned last week.
The friends we stayed with also have three kids under age 8, two of whom are still technically in diapers (Pull-Ups count, right?)– so naturally, the volume level was always high and at least fifteen times a day we heard screaming, “he has my toy!” “I don’t want that to eat” and other such phrases. I love them all dearly, but I was ready to get back to the quiet of my own apartment.
The trip DID go well– aside from small people arguments, we had a great time and all the kids got along. It gave me a preview of what family trips will look like for the next 5-10 years, and I have to say… where are the adult vacations?
I have been thinking about this post for awhile. How I feel on a given day is largely controlled by the state of the union between my boyfriend’s ex wife and the rest of us. I have never been involved with someone with an ex wife and kids and it has been quite the learning curve so far.
Before their divorce was final, the boys’ mom was more than a little difficult from time to time. She freely told M about her dating escapades but if he asked her a question about someone she seemed to have a “great connection with” she would get defensive and a little nuts. The tipping point came for me when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer and her reaction was childish, inappropriate and way beyond the pale. I was livid and intended on telling her exactly what I thought of her. As soon as everything was final.
Lucky for her, she realized what a twat she had been and things have been fairly copacetic between them ever since. She still tries to get out of her time with the boys on occasion (and many weekends), but she has also been extremely helpful and cooperative on other occasions.
Recently she got on my nerves again and I’m not proud to say that I lost my shit about it. Several small things got under my skin– she called M when someone was knocking on her door; she got in a small fender bender and called him; she was trying to date a guy who M went to school with and asked him to help her stalk the guy’s page on Facebook– and I finally exploded about it.
“She is not your wife anymore!” I screamed. “she cannot keep asking you for things. She gave up those rights and privileges and she is pissing me off with this neediness!” She has a father and a brother and a best friend to call and whine to, I continued. She needs to stop.acting.like.his.wife.
I want them to get along, but I don’t find it acceptable that she is constantly texting him when it doesn’t have to do with the boys. She was threatened by my presence early on in our relationship, feeling that I was trying to replace her with her children. Now I want to take my place by M’s side– a place SHE gave up- but I feel thwarted in that.
Friends, give me your opinion: am I too sensitive, or do I have a right to be upset about this? Chime in!